Jadi Ibu berat, kata orang-orang sih gitu. Tapi beneran gue nyesel ga tau banyak hal (yang gue ga sempet ato telat tau sebelum jadi Ibu).
Katanya, gugel aja gugel. Tapi pas tau-tau lo kena depresi postpartum apa ada yang beneran peduli? Well, ada sih keluarga, tapiiii emangnya mereka tau pikiran-pikiran psycho yang ada di otak Kita? Seringnya, saking lemotnya, ga tau mau gugel apa.
Masalah klasik tapi bikin emosi itu soal ngasi makan anak. Ginian aja bisa ngajak war ga si? Setelah anak gue ampir setahun baru gue bisa bodoamat. Selama dia hidup dan sehat, terserah lah lu mau bacot juga.
Ngomong-ngomong soal penyesalan, dulu gue mayan ngeselin sih, suka ngajak ribut emak-emak yang suka pamerin anak di medsos. Lol. Tapi, makin kesini malah makin nyadar, lah kayanya mereka kesepian deh. Apalagi yang ibu-ibu rumahtangga (dulu saking keselnya sampe gue nulis blog tenang mereka overshared sambil ngajak ribut dedengkotnya. Akhirnya gué dimusuhin emak-emak sekantor wanjirrr wkwkkw). Tapi jujur, di Indo support group ibu-ibu tuh kurang banget ato malah ga ada. Gue join group WA buibu angkatan jaman kuliah aja kaya' left out banget, soalnya bisa dibilang gue punya anaknya telat*. Tapi beneran kayanya, ngumpulin emak-emak stress di satu group mungkin bukan ide bagus. Hahahha.
Nah, klo ngomongin soal hormon hamil ga jelas, baru aja gue diputusin (ato mutusin?) pertemanan gara-gara gue di-ghosting temen gue (mantan temen ding, udahan temenannya) yang hamil. Hamilnya ga lama setelah gue lahiran. So basically we were besties, were. Soalnya tau-tau pas doi hamil beneran gue ga dikabarin apa-apa, padahal pas gue hamil ampir tiap hari telponan nanya kabar blabla, cerita-cerita DLL. Bahkan gue bleeding 2x pun gue tetep contact-an sama dia. Lah INI, beneran ngilang sampe suatu ketika dia lahiran, ga ngabarin, dan gue tau dari temen kantornya. Njir. Sakit banget aing. Ya udah, gue kirimin kado, gue WA bilang udahan lah, temenan kok gini amat.
Jadi gini, gue emang punya trust issues, jadi please klo ngerasa temen atleast ngabarin Kek, apalagi dari setiap hari intense gitu tau-tau gada kabar. Gondok banget sumpah. Lo ga ngomong lo kenapa, mana gue tau? Cape banget nanyain kabar juga dikacangin. Ya udahlah. Gada waktu buat mikirin orang ribet.
Btw, blognya bakal banyak bahas hal-hal yang gue alamin sendiri dan gue berharap, "Kalo ajaaa dulu tau, mungkin ga begini...", ya semacam itu.
*Gada ya telat punya anak. Emangnya situ yang ngatur. Dih.
(Btw, di bawah ini misuh versi Londo enggres, semacam trensletan. Itung-itung make bahasanya lah, daripada ga pernah dipake. Cekidot)
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Being a mom is hard. So many people already said that. But I wish I knew things I didn't know before I became a mom.
They said, just Google it. But well, apparently no one really cares about your postpartum depression. You got your own sh*t and stuff. Sure, there's your family, but still they don't know how f**ked your minds are right now. And sometimes you don't even have a clue what to Google.
The classic one is how you fed your child, it can be a war on its own. Now that my baby's almost turning one, I can say well f*** it. As long as your baby's alive and healthy, who cares about others' blabbering mouths, right?
Anyway, I was a bitter person before, that is to those show off Moms on socmed. But now, idk maybe they're just as lonely as I am right now and some of them are housewives. In this country we don't have mom support groups, one I joined on messaging app it's not really helpful tbh, some only gave more pressure even though I'm just asking for mundane things since I am a newbie here. Again, being a mom is hard on me as to them. Maybe gathering a bunch of stressed out moms aren't exactly a perfect idea. lol.
Talking about weird hormones and stuff, I even lost a friend thanks to that. In my case, I rarely attached to people that much, but when I do I just hope the feeling's mutual. Idk wth happened to her, suddenly after her long awaited baby bump was there, she cut off ties with me, as in cold turkey. One moment we shared almost anything, the next moment it's like we're back being strangers. What I do regret most, I hate being neglected and I know what it's like being pregnant with bleedings and all--i--i shared all my moments with her. But she, she just outcast me. So one day after her baby was born ( I didn't know directly, her co-worker told me. Ouch.) I sent a present. After that I texted her saying how cruel she was for giving me a random cold shoulder and I can't do this anymore. This is not friendship. I don't know what that was.
So that's that. I have major trust issues, so if I consider you as a friend, least you should do is tell me anything about your life, please. If you don't talk, how am I supposed to know anything? It'll be different though if the communication wasn't intense before. I've already got my plate full without this crap.
Oh, anyway will be talking more about things I wished I knew and stuff like that.
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